Sacred Spin4 Acrylic 20X20 2011 SOLD
It seems I’m in good company. The Ontario Art Gallery currently has a Marc Chagall exhibit. It includes a movie about his life, in which the famous Russian artist expresses the self-doubt he felt when commissioned, at age 75, to paint the new ceiling for the Paris Opera House. I was greatly comforted by his statement.
Jungian Psychologist, James Hollis writes: “To move into unfamiliar territory activates anxiety as our constant comrade. Clearly, psychological or spiritual development always requires a greater capacity in us for the toleration of anxiety and ambiguity. The capacity to accept this troubled state, abide it, and commit to life, is the moral measure of our maturity.”[1]
Whatever made me think that growing up entailed eliminating anxiety and self-doubt? I have a quote on my bulletin board that reads: “Each age of life is new to us. No matter how old we are, we still troubled by inexperience.”[2] Maybe “anonymous” felt silly, even ashamed talking about the reality that most of us experience as we move through life – trying new things creates anxiety. Not trying them, however according to Hollis, is worse and leads to depression.
By the age of about 8, I had internalized the notion that I could not draw or do “art.” Like many, I carried that belief well into adulthood. As I approached the age of fifty I found myself stopping in front of art, and a little voice inside said: “I want to do this.” I took the most basic of art courses through the Toronto School Board evening program. I discovered and I truly believe this: ANYONE can LEARN to do art. Am I a natural born Chagall? No. It doesn’t matter. Do I still feel anxious at the beginning of new explorations? Yes? Am I anxious and full of self-doubt hanging the current show? Yes.
Tomorrow is the opening reception for “Play On… Colour,” My second art show at Rosedale United Church with my photographer husband Bruce Bennett. Drop by if you can…
Or have a look at the images on my Gallery page.
[1] James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second half of Life; How to Finally, Really Grow Up, Gotham Books, 2005. Page 40.
[2] Anonymous
So appreciate this writing Anne
, still a subject I get caught in.
Thanks Laurie, Maybe “getting caught in” is the normal for most if not all of us and thinking it should be otherwise is not-normal. this quote of Hollis really helped me feel that about my own life. yes, I will have self-doubt and anxiety when I try something new or put myself “out there!” thanks for reading and commenting. Anne
Hi Anne, I call it living life to the fullest, by accepting our real selves and working through the anxiety and self doubt brings us to wonderful places… Congratulations on working through yours. Results, beautiful artwork…we all can appreciate.
Thanks,
Patricia Bergen
Yes, Pat, thanks for your affirmation. Maybe it’s just me, but I find I go through this over and over and it always brings me to a new place. take good care, Anne